Running Log Entry 42.187.2016.1.30

Went on 4 mile run with Sandy. Second run in new pair of Brooks running shoes. First run my left knee was really screaming at me. Same for this run. Also right foot going numb.

After run setup exchange with Zappos for these size 9.5 to size 10, maybe shoe size is problem.

Hope to find out what is going on as this is ridiculous to have these pains.

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So what is the purpose of spending lots of time with children if we are raising them to leave us in the end?

I recently spent a long evening in deep conversation with two very nice gentlemen from India. They were at a business conference in California, as was I. We met one evening on a group Winery tour while sitting at a small wooden table in the dark evening, while music was playing by these guys:

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These guys from India could barely, and I mean that literally, speak any english. So we were very close to each other speaking loudly and slowly back and forth over that small table. There were around two hundred people present so it was not really that quiet. So you get the idea, it was loud, we had wine and we had language barrier/translation obstacles. So we conversed for a long time and what I learned or took away is still quite interesting. Thus this little post about that conversation.

An observation I have about their culture.

First previous to this conversation I have had certain thoughts about those kind of guys from India. Many of the ones I have met in my term here on earth are like this, they move to the USA, buy houses and live with all of their relatives together in one place, they own a business or two and sometimes another business and home back home. They work a lot and make money and are busy. They don’t seem to be outside in their yards very much like us American’s do. Please stay with me, this is just my observations. I have been next door neighbors to multiple families like this for years. We were great neighbors and our kids played together. We talked on occasion, so my observations are not without merit. Anyway I have had this judgement in my mind that they should spend more time with their kids. Why? Because that’s the way I think it should be. Afterall you guys work so much.

Carry that into this conversation with these two gentlemen.

One of the guys was more engaged, the other had his cell phone with him and he continued to use it during our conversation. I like to leave my cell phone in the car whenever I go to a meeting, social or business. I asked lots of questions, slowly and often had to repeat.

For example,

“Do you live in a house?”     Answer: No it’s more of an apartment, it’s on the top floor of the hotel that we own.

“What time do you go to work each day”   Answer: I usually work 8 – 5pm.

“Do you go out to eat for lunch?”     Answer: No. I bring a boxed lunch with me.

“Do you work Saturdays?”   Answer: Sometimes.

“How about Sundays?”     Answer: No. We go to “church” (aka Hindu Temple) and spend time as family together.

He sounded really normal. We talked about how he and his brothers all help each other in business. They loan each other money $$$$ on a moments notice because that is what brothers do. Their wives cook together. Etc. You probably can see the picture.

So here is my observation:

American Isolationism – as he termed it.

In his culture, yes they do work a lot and share homes and even have their kids often watched over by whatever family member is present. But they are very close to each other and when a brother needs something they are there to help them. They do business together and more.

In my American culture, we work a lot too. We live alone and often far away from family. We watch our own kids mostly. Because we want to raise them right. However when we need help our brothers are not near nor are we that close to help each other out. We were raised this way to go off on our own. Our culture and way of growing up often means leaving our family.

So we see one culture staying close.

And we see another culture not so close, buy yet judges the other culture by the amount of time they spend with their children.

So what is the purpose of spending lots of time with children if we are raising them to leave us in the end?

One way works alot and shares in the ups and downs with family. They don’t seem to have as much personal time together but when they are not working it’s family. All family.

One way works too, maybe not as much, and they are happy to be on their own and self-sufficient. They have lots of personal time but no time to take care of their aging parents.

Is this a downside of our Western Culture? I feel like it is. Think about it for a minute or two and see what you feel about this.

Thoughts?

 

Free App Forever

The Father Developer created this killer app. He designed it with proprietary software. The app is the most downloaded app of all time, especially since it was free and available to anyone who wanted it. If ANYONE wanted it, they just needed to visit his website and accept the terms and conditions there were surprisingly no strings attached and no advertising or selling off people’s info. Soon there where Other software developers who began to resell his app. The Father didn’t take the time to file a copyright because he was more focused on getting the app to everyone because he knew it was the best app in the world. The Other developers soon began helping lots of people download the app because some people found it difficult to find the website. They were busy about life. The Other developers realized there were lots of people who needed the app but found the Fathers advertising or lack of- a little problematic. So the Others developed really neat marketing plans with very cool secondary websites which redirected everyone to the original app on the Father Developers website. The Father Developer saw this and was glad they had helped so many people find his website, after all He was a bit older and his old-fashioned ways didn’t always cut through the noisiness of all the Other technologies available. Soon some of the Others realized that they could profit from the services they were offering. So they devised a plan to “help” Others download the app but only after they first had to click thru several advertisements and accept a few more additional terms. It worked though lots of people continued to sign up for the app via these new websites with flashy advertising banners and tracking cookies. The Father also saw this and began to be concerned. But He realized that in the end the people were still getting the final app and after all that is really all He wanted in the Beginning. If anyone had His app, it was awesome. It never required an update as He built it without any vulnerabilities to outside threats. His genius was in that the app never changed but continued to serve the original purpose for which He designed it. It worked across all platforms and devices. It was and is to this day the best app available and it’s still free! Soon again the Others realized that not only could they profit from helping Others download the app they found that the original app was a little old-fashioned and not up to snuff with the savvy culture of the day. The Others soon found a way to publish a very similar app of their own but much more cool. It wasn’t free either. Afterall they did do a lot of work making this app really slick and cool – they should be paid for their work. Some of the Others still pointed the buyers to the original app but some went on with their own version. They were not as crafty in their coding and often their app needed additional updates and additional terms to keep the users of their app. Their app also fell prey to viruses and malware which often created lots of problems for the users. The amount of Other developers continued to increase and the variations of the original app were amazing. No matter your taste, preference you could find an app to meet your desires. Most of these Other apps had moved away from the original apps intent and code. But not many noticed this because it happened slowly overtime. The only one who took notice was the Father developer. His stats were way down, the amount of hits on His website plummeted over the past few years. He knew exactly why, the Others who complicated the very simple act of visiting one website and downloading an app once with no updates, created their own very complicated system whereby only with the “help” of a certified developer could a normal person find, download and use the app.  This made the Father developer really upset. His app was so easy and required no one to instruct another on how to use it. He thought of challenging the Other developers but he decided not to. He remembered that he built into his code an expiration date. Soon the original code and app would disappear and none would ever be able to access it. The business of reselling His app would continue for a while because many of the Other developers really never themselves even downloaded the original. Eventually the Father Developer had enough of the Other developers and He saw that his original app was about to expire. He decided to not announce his secret to the Other developers but He did find an opening in the code of their software. He creatively inserted a little symbol inside their apps without their knowledge. Many users saw this symbol and clicked on it and it took the users the Father Developers original website. Many downloaded His app and found it to be very light and powerful. The terms and conditions were very simple. They couldn’t believe that they had ever fell for a copy. With this new app they were able to get all they had to do done. They found they had less bugs in their devices and even spent less time on their device. It seems that the Other apps developed often caused users to spend more time on a device then what was really needed. The Father Developers app wasn’t designed for its users lives to be burdened down, it was really an app for freedom. Time had some and the expiration arrived. The app and website went away for He designed it to only be available for a set period of time. He never charged anyone for His app. It was always free. It was no longer available for download, gone. Only those who already had downloaded it and accepted its terms and conditions were able to use it. For the rest the opportunity was over.

We are gonna miss this, but..

I miss them.Older folks and country music remind us that “we are gonna miss this”. Miss the little ones making a mess of everything all the time, miss the yelling and fighting over a quarter and more. My babe and I routinely remind ourselves of this and kind of fist bump like “Hey someday they’ll be gone and we’ll be sad.”  But I would like to stop this train, I know that I will miss it when they are gone and here is a few things that we’ll miss:

We’ll miss:

  • Golf clubs in the yard run over with tractor
  • Missing tools of all sorts, wrenches, screwdrivers, nails, my 5′ level
  • “my” computer desk always has crayons, batteries, crumbs from something all over it.
  • the printer, jammed from something, need to print, hold on it’s going to be 15 minutes while I cuss.
  • Razor in the shower with mysterious hair
  • Having no shampoo of my own
  • Empty can of shaving cream – whenever I buy a new one, it last about 2 days. But “no one” uses it.
  • Wallet – well I stopped carrying one because what’s the point when it continues to be run through with cards missing, etc. Rubberband and it stays in my truck.
  • 5 boxes of same cereal opened at same time – all stale
  • Empty Gatorade bottles found in remote places
  • Basket of partially eaten foods located under the bed. Popcorn, apple cores, candy wrappers.
  • Truck windows opened in the rain.
  • Locked out of truck with keys (and wallet) locked in, “no one” played with the truck.
  • Cell phone chargers disappearing.
  • Early morning hugs
  • Laughing together at dinner table.
  • Yelling “get back in bed” for the umpteenth time.
  • Working together in the garage fixing their bicycles.
  • Having a few faces of people who love me everyday and want to be with me.
  • Coming home from work and being tackled in the driveway everyday with anxious little kids who want to play and tell me about their day. This is something I will miss.
  • Having guaranteed partners for camping and hiking.
  • Going to the hardware store letting them run loose.
  • Putting new band aids on invisible cuts.
  • Cutting the boy’s hair in the driveway.

Having children is the most wonderful experience and I wish I could PAUSE right now and keep this FOREVER, if given the option to freeze our ages and live forever like this, I WOULD! Yes I get mad about trivial things a lot and blow a gasket weekly. But there is nothing I would trade for this.  I feel guilty about getting mad and losing my temper, even as I write this I have this feeling of how ungrateful I must be. Like there are so many couples out there who would give their right arm for the chance to have a kid. But they can’t for some unknown medical reason. I am aware, I am immensely blessed, the richest guy around.

If your kids are gone and moved out, you probably would agree with me with some of this.

It’s Sunday and all I can think about is PAUSING this day. I am going to go back out from this room to be with the gang and play some games, maybe get mad a little too because of someones bad attitude. But I know I will miss them all dearly.

Someday we’ll be old and lonely. But first we’ll be kinda old but we’ll celebrate surviving!

We survived!

  Best weather 

This has to be the best weather day of the summer thus far. At least for me being in the office all day now getting a chance to be outside this is probably the first time I’ve been outside in the awesome weather this entire summer for an extended period of time. 

It’s the kind of warm that feels good on your skin with the perfect wind to keep you had a great temperature.
I guess I will post this to remind me of the wonderful weather because soon winter comes. Although I have been thinking about it recently and I’m looking forward to the crispness of winter. But I have work to do before the bone chilling temps.

I need to get the woodstove installed. And then I probably also need to have some wood. You think?
Well that didn’t last long, dinner is ready have to go.

Do to me as you want

Do to others as you would have them do to you.”

This is called the Golden Rule, it’s found in many religious teachings. Today we help others often the way we want to be helped. We buy gifts for others because we like gifts. We do as we like to do.  Is there more to this? Are we missing something in this?

I recall one time that I bought a gift for someone privately. The person then proceeded to announce to everyone that I bought them a gift. I knew they liked gifts. They didn’t know that I like privacy and anonymity. They like it when someone broadcasts their goodness, I personally am uncomfortable with public recognition.

Doing something for ME requires you to KNOW me. Yes you did something for me or to me but do I really care about it? If I want to please my spouse I probably need to figure out (if this is possible) what she wants (again who really knows what she wants?!). Treating her the way I want to be treated doesn’t always produce the desired outcome. Simply stated, Christian Psychologists have deemed that men need respect and women need love.

So for me to do to another as I really want them to do to me, I need to stop and learn about this other before I act. Then after doing to someone as they value and appreciate, I will see another doing unto me as I really enjoy or value. Treat me the way I want to be treated not the way you want to be treated, we are different from eachother. I have likes and dislikes, so do you.

Maybe it’s not just the doing but it’s the KNOWING that we are to first learn?

 

 

Fear no mistake

Mistakes happen. People learn as they go. If your circle doesn’t allow mistakes, most likely your people are not happy and as productive as they might otherwise be. For example, when someone blunders, you ask the question, “How can we never allow this to happen again?”. Sounds smart. But it’s actually counterproductive. First, the gent who blundered is ashamed, not only did he err but now he has to go thru the process of humiliation. He is now fearful of failing ever again and will likely take less risks and do less, maybe that’s what you want? Let’s say you do not.

Instead of trying to prevent all future mistakes, why not categorize a mistake as simply something that happened and will most likely happen again, especially if your person is getting things done or is quite productive?

Really if someone never blunders or errors, what are they doing? Are they your personal robot?

What would it look like if it was okay to make a mistake and the mistalke itself was the only penalty? Why add insult to injury and penalize those who are trying to do something?

 

Tree of Life

What if man cannot grasp the Deity, God with his mind? That it required something else, something inside of him but so elusive that he would struggle to find it, all while it was there just waiting for him. Like in the darkness there is a light, it’s cloaked.

His mind has gears that spin when triggered. One thought begets another, he cannot grasp the infinite who needs nothing else.

The duality of the Tree in the Garden was the knowledge of Good and Evil. Forbidden.

The Tree of Life, healing for the nations, was singular. No this or that.

Tree of Life

Tree of Life

Religion is man-made, it promotes good or evil, it is dual. You are right or you are wrong.

Life is to be found in the singular, no thought can acquire. It’s spirit, something we cannot understand.

Maybe what this world needs is people to drop their, I am right, you are wrong and just embrace Love? Love for God, Love for people. Maybe healing is found in leaving religion behind and cherishing whats inside? What would that look like.

 

Hmm it’s late for me, this might be “out there”.

 

The odds were against me

Having 4 children, the odds were against me.

There has to be 1 who gets my goad.

It wasn’t the 1st born. The 2nd or 3rd.

Nope it was the grand finale. The one who almost took my brides life upon entry into this world.

Since he cannot yet read, it is safe to write this. Maybe.

At his early age of 6 he has discovered and pounced upon my Achilles’ heel.

He knows which button to push.

He gets me blasted angry. Makes me cuss.

When people first meet us they say he is the spitting image of me!

My sister says, he looks just like I did when I was a tike.

So the other 3 seems to have my wifes dispostion, lovely, sweet and gentle.

This one is a fireball, my little fighter.

 

I love him, he is intense in hugs, kisses and arguments.

We thought we made it without major incident, but the odds were against us.

 

Brake Repair on wife’s truck

Well the brakes on Sandys truck wore out recently and so I had the privilege of making the repairs myself. It wasn’t to bad except it was below zero on that day. Besides being really cold and having to fumble around in my messy garage for tools with numb fingers, I got it done.

My work bench is a complete disaster since we just moved in 3 months ago. I cannot find all my tools yet so every little project turns into a big project.  So I only had to make 3 trips to the auto parts store and one trip to the hardware store and 2 trips to fridge for beer.

The brake pads they originally sold me were not the right ones and didn’t fit. It took me awhile to understand this when I was trying to jam these into place with numb digits and a screwdriver.

Then the realization that new rotors were needed, see image :

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And below you can see this rusted plate that fell off on both sides. I didn’t know what the heck they were, I just got really angry and was about to lose it. Heck, I thought the truck was falling apart and that it was ready for the junkyard. I pulled out my phone and took a few photos and drove back to the experts at the auto parts store. They told me that this piece of metal that fell off was just a guard plate and not critical. Well so far they are right. Apparently it acts like a dirt guard around the brakes. So maybe I will have dusty breaks now.

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Here it is falling off. I thought the end was near. Really mad at this point.

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Turns out that it’s all OK and that the wheels keep spinning and the brakes are awesome again.

I feel good for completing the job and a little guilty for getting angry when the rusty rings fell off.

With YouTube you can learn about anything. My auto instructor is a guy named Scotty Kilmer. He is on YouTube and has tons of videos on how to fix your car. He is a great teacher. I recommend you look him up if have to repair something on your car. Here is a link to one of his videos.

Hopefully no more car repairs until spring. We still have 4-5 months of cold here.